I can’t believe I haven’t written in so long.. got to be a little bit more careful… Can’t believe I’m getting you inside my head… here we go…
From the beginning of 2012 until now, I say I have made a full turnaround because I just couldn’t take another heartbreak, another slap in the face, another punch in my gut anymore. I was officially thru with bad relationships, negative people, drama – everything. I reached ‘that’ point.
Now, I understand that everything I been through was the first part of my story. The next part is just beginning for me. Now, I have stopped running from Gods calling on my life because he has some work in me for people. And I wasn’t afraid anymore to finally let go of apprehensions, fear I would lose people in my life, doubt that I didn’t know what was next and just let him FOR ONCE have my life. And that day when I made that decision, I finally was able to live without doubt, apprehensions and fear. And I am so much happier living a passion filled life now, because I have no fear of going out and realize everything GOOD or BAD happens for a reason.
By no way I think I am better than the next person, and of course I have a lot of things to work on still in my life. Still, and even now, more trying situations come my way every day. Some confusing situations, some hurting, some crazy and some evil… but my confidence in knowing who I am and WHOSE I am makes all the difference in my reactions now, than what I would have done earlier. It’s called maturity; it’s called growth. Some people who I trusted have left my life. Maybe because I prayed to God to keep me away from my enemies, to show me if they really cared… and one by one… they all disappeared. And that was confirmation for me. No questions asked, no matter how hurt I was, but a simple ‘thank you’ because He knows what’s best for me.
I get better every day: learning not to put ‘too much’ of my business out (lol social media is the worst for me!), learning to think and pray before a reaction, learning to remain humble and learning to remain prayerful. The good people that have remained in my life I am so thankful for (even if it is just for a season)! Friends and family sometimes get me through the toughest times with words of wisdom and advice! I love them so much! Even one of my exes that I remained cool with until this day I am grateful for. I tell him my guy issues and straight up, he give me a guys perspective about it, no matter how much of the truth may hurt me, it only made me the wiser person I am today.
I was looking at all my blogs from the past, and there were some HILARIOUS blogs… I just couldn’t get my life together with these men! I believed them, what they said… how many problems I had with them. Just running in circles, that now I realized, that I didn’t learn the intended lesson in them. That’s why I was put right back in the my ‘process’ only to start all over again. So now I can tell the guys who are still playing around and the guys who seriously ready to settle down with 1 woman. Not the half steppin, on the fence, ‘yeah a GF sound good right now’ men… the ones who are serious. Even sometimes the ‘good men’ have a lot of maturing to do. And they may be a good man, but not ‘good’ for me. And women have to realize that as well.
IDK… I just began writing and these words just popped up so I said them. Someone may need this as help, that little push they need. That battle they are fighting, they aren’t fighting alone. We will be surprised at how many women today have the same little thoughts, battles, fears.
Have a great day!