“There’s one thing I can say about you- it’s that I can’t say anything bad about you.”
I have heard this time and time again from people I’ve encountered here and there in my life. I don’t know how others perceive me, but 9 times out of 10- I feel like I am more ‘good’ than ‘bad’ when folks think about Amber.
I was talking to one of my friends recently and I told him, “I don’t want people, when they look back at me, to say I was nothing but a pleasant person.” I want people to see a good person when they remember Amber. As unique and sometimes weird as I am- I don’t want people to say “She had an attitude problem. She was ignorant. She wasn’t great to get along with. She was impatient.” I don’t live for that. I didn’t change my life around to hear that. I changed my life for it to be a witness for His glory.
I think hard about how other people see me. I don’t do this for their approval, but I constantly think about the way I am projecting Him… projecting Him through me. If how I’m living is showing onlookers a new way to live? If how I am talking showing them a new way to talk? If how I think is showing them a new way to think? Or if I’m just like Sally, Sue or Kate and I fall in line like everyone else?”
Does anyone else wonder about these things?
For instance, I heard a saying “In order to be irreplaceable, one must be different.” In a world chasing after lust, sex, drugs and money- what are you doing that is different from the normal? If someone that you don’t know encountered you, even for a random ‘hello” – how could you impact their world in just an instance? For example: I needed to take care of some business before going on my vacation. I needed some documentation. So after work, I went to the office for Public records and handled what I needed. Upon leaving, there was a senior security guard at the door and as I approached her I said, “Thank you, you have a great afternoon!” I believe she was in total shock, because her initial gloomy “have a nice day” turned brighter with a “thank you so much, you do the same.” I could guess that she encounters several people each day and she is required to greet people, but probably only a couple would respond back. I could just tell from her expression back to me, that she was happy I showed any type of enthusiasm walking out the door, even to say “have a great afternoon!”
What does that mean? Well you have to be set apart. If a person can’t tell you apart from the next girl (or man) then you are not being impactful. Sorry, but true- you aren’t. If someone can get the same thing you are offering from another person- you are not irreplaceable, you are not impactful. After having conversations with my ex’s (months and years after our relationships had ended) they would tell me how I am different from the other women they have dated or are dating. They would comment this and that about me and rave about me, but that’s all I was being: ME- or who God made me to be. I was brought up with a sense of morals and values. I have a mindset to want to do right by each person. I never was a cheater. I was taught how to be prompt. Taught what discipline was. How to take care of the home. How to cook. I didn’t have a mind to play games, and I was honest. Even at the cost of my pride, I am still honest. Even though I was a bit on the emotional side and I wasn’t as ‘affectionate’ as they would prefer- I was still mostly a ‘good woman.’ And apparently, these traits are rare to come by these days (or so from what they tell me). So I have impacted their life in some way or another, at least so they can see there are still some honest, caring women in the world.
I’ve learned that if you are a good person, good fruit comes out of you, automatically. When good fruits come out of you, others will take notice of it. They will remember you as “yes, there was something about her/him. I can’t put my finger on it, but she/he was different than the rest. Different from what I’ve encountered.” Let’s look at scripture:
Matthew 7:17-20 (GW), Jesus says: In the same way every good tree produces good fruit, but a rotten tree produces bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, and a rotten tree cannot produce good fruit…. So you will know them by what they produce. (Amplified Version of it here.)
And people will know and remember you by the fruit you produce. So keep living an impactful life, exemplifying the ‘fruits of the spirit‘ in everything you do. Whether people notice or not. Because in the end, they can never say anything bad about you. And let’s keep it that way.