Reasons and Relationships

Updated: Nov 26, 2019

“Not every relationship is supposed to be a romantic one.”

These words keep ringing in my ear after last Sunday’s messaged spoken through our Prophetess of the church. I am reminded of some years ago I uttered the same words to a Singles Ministry session I held at my church. “When you establish a friendship with people first then God will reveal to you the ‘why’ of that person. Some people are business partners, some are instrumental for connections you will need later. Some are test, and one is the real deal.”

But she continues, “I am friends with a guy friend until this day. We tried to date and it just didn’t work, but we remained friends because to me he was my brother. And until this day he credits me for bringing him to Christ. If we would have gotten married, it would have messed it all up! My mission was being an instrument to show him God.” (paraphrased).

If God calls you to Him, He will use His means to draw your attention – even if he uses a guy or a lady to get you into the church building on a particular Sunday.

What draws us to God is not by happenstance, it’s orchestrated. This is especially true when God has called us to be His disciple. God can use anyone to draw our attention to Him – even if we think we are pursing a romantic relationship with someone who just so happens invite us to church. Or maybe that co-worker that keeps inviting you to church and you just say “yes” so they would shut up? When I say everything is planned by God – everything is planned by God.


Let’s remember this the next time a cup is presented. Sometimes, we have a choice not to indulge, or at least inspect it before indulging.

God’s ways are never our ways, and His intentions are never ours. As believers, we know that every occurrence with anyone is orchestrated, as God orders our steps. We must be careful in pursuing relationships, knowing that the next one may not be what we think it should be or even what we want. We must submit our will, thoughts and actions to Him – allowing Him to guide our interactions so they reflect His intentions and not our own.

Let us all think about this the next time an opportunity presents itself to us. We can save a whole lot of heartache and pain if we just ask God, first, the reason for this new venture. Because after all, breakups are for those relationships that were never intended to be be relationships from the beginning. Let’s be more careful and start being intentional!

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