Updated: May 26
Parenting is by far the hardest ministry you will ever have. Probably because it’s non stop and always there - right in front of you. Your every step. Your every move. Your every waking moment is your minister to your children.
Some days you will have to till the ground in your child’s life without much reciprocation.
Children are naturally self centered and they only think about themselves. Hate to sound blunt , but this is their reality. It’s all about them in their world and little about you. Not to say they don’t love you, but their love is not romantic love That I believe we expect as parents. Their love is an admiration (or should be) and an unconditional love.
Much like marriage, parenting is sowing into our children goodness, kindness, compassion, grace and patience. And we know, as believers, any action is a seed planted. And we also expect that seed to take root and grow and sprout in different areas in their life.
As a single mom of one, there are some days the weariness overtakes me. I can confidently share to you, you will have bursts of anger out of frustration or tiredness. As you realize your energy cannot remotely match your child’s, you push them in front of a tablet or TV so you can take a bathroom break in peace. Once they are off to bed, it’s a mind battle between staying up and enjoying some alone time, going to sleep to rejuvenate your mental and physical or doing some cleaning that you simply cannot do during waking hours.
I didn’t prepare or want to be a single mom - but I had some great examples growing up how to make it despite circumstances.
But I want to share something that I remember even growing up - mama, what will matter is that you pushed through your hard days. I know it’s hard but keep going. Not once I remember my mother giving up on us or just stopped her responsibilities. Not once I saw my sister throw in the towel and forget about her kids. Not once. My child and teenage eyes didn’t see all that, I just saw women that kept going. So it is a possibility that we (single moms) can too.
I‘m speaking to the single mamas that are intentional parenting while holding down a career while you’re trying to heal a broken heart or soul.
No, no one will be there always to fill you cup as you are constantly are pouring out. Some days will be self pity and questioning why and how you got here. Most times you’ll whisper to yourself, I’m so tired. There will rarely be a weekend morning where you will sleep in. Most weeks you feel like you’re a robot doing the same routine day in and day out. You will have nights, or even moments, you just cry.
But there will be days your child smile at the right time is all the medicine you need. That their random “I love you” during their video game will be the extra boost you needed that day. Their big hug at that right second you needed it will be the love to cover last nights cry. Their picture they colored at school of just the two of you will perk you up after your hard day at work.
Single parenting is the most rewarding for the hard work you put in. But there’s no escaping the hard work you have to put in. You just have to.