Some people don’t believe, but yes, this is a decision I made for myself. I always viewed that this would be a tough thing to do, especially having sex before. I always thought that I wouldn’t be able to keep a guy if I told him that I wanted to be celibate. Men have told me, ‘there is no way you will be able to get/keep a guy and not having sex with him’. But I really wanted to be able to prove them wrong.
This is why I was probably more overjoyed that I should have when I heard of Megan Goods story and Tamara Housley… to share their story of celibacy. Probably means a lot more than some will ever know. They probably won’t even know how much really their stories mean, but I have to give them credit when credit is due. They probably gave a lot of women hope, because I know I got some! From Megan Goods perspective, before she decided to be celibate, she was having sex Im assuming. And I read an interview in an article about how she wanted to give herself to God and work on herself. She also told ESSENCE in an interview in September 2012 “One of the things I noticed right off the bat is I had more clarity, I had more self worth, I had more peace of mind and I just was a lot more relaxed and sure of myself…” This is admirable as well as inspiration to me.
I did realize, hey, she is right! And with my new walk with God, I needed to hear Him, better, clearer. (I actually cut out a lot more things besides sex to hear God, but sex was a major.) The last straw was when I was in a compromising position and it literally didn’t feel good anymore about doing it. Didn’t give me that pleasure. Didn’t give me the feeling that it once did. And that is how I knew. But yes, the self worth was an automatic. And, yes I am becoming more peaceful than before. Sex was allotting the wrong type of spirits and ties to come to and into me. So the new path of ‘celibacy’ I wanted to try out. To see, first, if I could do it. Then to see if I could continue it. Then even one of my homegirls told me she has been for 2 years!
Tamara Housley shared on TV that she waited to lose her virginity until she was 29. After which she remained celibate until she was married to her husband 3 years later. What got me was that ‘she felt guilty’. Such a sweet woman and such a sweet spirit she has. (I love the twins by the way! They are such positive people in such a negative world.) But I love how she has come to the forefront and tell her story. Not I think she was trying to hide it, but just to simply give her story, as a different story. There are men who will wait! Not even that, men who honor the principle of it. I know this for a fact. 🙂
So this is my story to celibacy. Some might be with me on this, and some might not be. But I just couldn’t allow for another relationship to go through my hands and then they take a piece of me. I want a different type of relationship. One that can teach me some new things, and upgrade me. Someone who knows my value and worth. Someone who deserves me as I him. I want to be in a relationship with I guy I can do something I never done before. And that was to not give myself to him before marriage. And I believe ‘the one’ will know and respect it.