I went on to look at this youtube video when I was offended. Thinking to myself, I really have to get out of being so sensitive, for real! I mean, I thought I was doing better, letting things roll off my shoulders, but some things still bother me! So I sought to better myself, to help me not to get so offended when people don’t do what I expect them to, or do something that I don’t expect them to.
Like Rick Renner said, offense arises when people do or don’t do something. Remembering further, a while back we had Bible Expedition at my church one Thursday night entitled “From Offended to Mended”. In the lesson, Bishop clearly explained this that we take offense when people don’t do what you expect them to. We put so much expectation on people because we are willing to do that, but further more Bishop said that most offenses arise from the spring of something else, past expectations and past hurts.
Personally, I don’t want those sour relationships and friendships in my past to hinder my present forward progression. So I have to get out of that mind frame, but I just didn’t know how. I mean, how do you stop letting people offend you? How do you not even have that feeling of offense overtake you? It’s not so simple.
Ecclesiastes 7: 21-22, the author wrote, “Do not pay attention to every word people say…for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” Taking this into context, really kind of explains the entire situation. Don’t take everything to heart what people say, or say about you, or what they didn’t do you expected of them, because, there was (or will be) a time where you also fall short of expectations, where you have talked about someone.
What does offended mean anyway? Resentful. Hurt. Insulted. Disgruntled. Annoyed. And this is the enemy’s opportunity to work in you. (Yep, he’s that slick). The enemy will have you feeling this type of way when someone offends you. The enemy will have you thinking you need to return the favor (Malice). Of course, this is the easy way to handle it. The harder way (but a way God rewards) is to go tell whoever offended you. Not with attitude, not with malice, not with anger. But just tell that person. Matthew 18:15 says “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense…” If they don’t want to listen to you, or if they dismiss it like it’s no big deal, then pray God will soften their heart. And go away. It’s not on you anymore. (Those are the ones that probably carry a lot of offense with them daily.) If they do apologize and tell you they meant/didn’t mean anything by it, then you can practice the art of forgiveness. (And if they really care about you and your feelings, they would try not to repeat the offense.)
God didn’t intend for the bad fruits to harbor in us. Those are anger, malice, strife, jealousy, bitterness, maliciousness… etc. It’s enticing to hold on to them and those feelings, because that’s what we are feeling. True. But the true exercise comes when you can let that anger go, even when you feel you have a reason to be mad. I know sometimes, I want to stay mad. I get so frustrated and upset sometimes, I don’t really want to turn around, forgive, and be happy with that particular person who offended me. But it’s really not my choice. God told us to forgive quickly (Colossians 3:13).
Besides, like Renner said, sometimes the person who ‘offended’ us, won’t even know the offense took place! And in the big scope of things, we are so mad and angry, but we are only bent out of shape over nothing!
Something to think about.